8 Mile
Sometimes I just feel like, quittin,
I still mic, why do I put up this fight, why do I still write,
Sometimes it's hard enough just dealing with real life,
Sometimes I just wanna jump on stage and just kill mic's,
And show these people what my level of skill's like,
But I'm still white, sometimes I just hate life,
Something ain't right, hit the brake lights,
Case of this stage fright, draw on the plane flight
Call but I might fall,
It aint my fault breaking my balls'
My insides crawl and I clam up,
I just slam shut, I just can't do it,
My whole man-hoods, just been stripped,
I've just been picked so I must then get on the bus then split,
Man fuck this shit, yo I'm going the fuck home,
World on my shoulders as I run back to this 8 mile road
Refrain:
I'm a man, I'm a make a new plan,
Time for me to just stand up and travel new land,
Time to leave and just take matters into my own hands,
Once i'm over these track man i'm a never look back,
And i'm gone and I know right where i'm goin,
Sorry momma i'm grown, I must travel alone,
Ain't no followin footsteps, i'm making my own,
Only way that I know how to escape from, this 8 mile road
Walking these train tracks trying to regain back,
The spirit I have before I go back to the same crap,
To the same plant, in the same pants,
Trying to chase rap, gotta move a.s.a.p,
Gotta get a new plan, momma's gotta new man,
Poor little baby sister, she dont understand,
Sits in front of the TV, buries her nose in the pad,
And just colours until the crayon get dull in her hand,
While she just colours her big brother and mother and dad
There's no telling what really goes on in her little head,
Wish that I could be the daddy that neither one of us had,
But I keep running from something I never wanted so bad,
Sometimes I get upset, cause I aint blew up yet,
Its like I grew up but I aint grown up to nuts yet,
Don't got a rep, my step, dont got enough pep,
The pressures too much man i'm just trying to do what's best,
And I try, sit alone and I cry, yo I wont tell her why,
Not a moment goes by that I look right at the sky,
Please i'm begging you god,
Please dont let me be fishin holding no regular job,
Yo I hope you will be getting home, whereva you are,
Yo i'm telling you dog, i'm bailing this trailer tomorrow,
Tell my mother I love her, kiss baby sister goodbye,
Say whenever you need me baby, i'm never to far,
But yo I gotta get out there, the only way I know,
And i'm a be back for you the second that I blow,
On everything I own, i'll make it on my own,
Off to work I go, back to this 8 mile road
Refrain
You got to live it to feel it, you didn't then you wouldn't get it,
Well see what the big deal is, why wasn't and still is,
To be walking this borderline of Detroit city limits,
Its different in it, a certain significant of certificate
Of authenticity, you'd never even see but its everything to me,
Its my credibilaty, you never seen, heard, smelt a meda ta MC,
Who's incredable on the same pedestal as me,
The chaque still unsigned, having a rough time,
Sit on the porche with all my friends and kick dumb rhymes,
Go to work and serve MC's in the lunch line,
But when it comes crunch time, where do my punch lines go,
Who must I show, to bust my flow, where must I go, who must I know,
Or am I just another grabbing the bucket
Cause I aint having no luck with this little rappers so fuck it
Maybe I need a new outlet, I'm starting to doubt shit,
I'm feeling a little skeptical who I hang out with,
I look like a bum, yo my clothes aint about shit,
At the salvation army trying to salvage an outfit,
And its cold trying to travel this road,
Plus I feel like i'm always stuck in this batteling mode,
My defenses are so up one thing dont want it pity from no one,
This city is no fun, there is no sun and its so dark,
Sometimes I just feel like, i'm being pulled a-part,
From each one of my limbs, by each one of my friends,
Its enough to make me just wanna jump out of my skin,
Sometimes I just feel like a robot, sometimes I just know not,
What i'm doing I just blow my head as a stove top,
I just explode, the kettle gets so hot,
Sometimes my mouth just overloads the acid, I dont got,
But I learned its time for me to U-Turn,
Yo it only takes one time for me to get burned,
Aint no callin her next time I need a new girl,
I can no longer play stupid or be immature,
I got every ingredient all I need is the courage,
Like I already got the beat all I need is the word,
Uh uh got the urge, suddenly its a surge,
Suddenly a new burst of energy hits the curve,
Time to show these free world leaders, three and the third,
I am no longer scared now, i'm free as a bird,
Then I turn and cross over the medium curve,
Hit the burbs and run and see its a blur, this 8 mile road
{au Refrain}
Criminal
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a
CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL
[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave
Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one
[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL
[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!
[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask
Guilty conscience
[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store.
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")
[Dr. Dre]
Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin conscience
[Eminem]
That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade
[Dr. Dre]
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns
[Eminem]
Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?
[Dr. Dre]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)
{sound of static}
("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know!")
("Look baby..")
("Damn!")
("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")
("Well OK..")
[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")
[Eminem]
Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek
and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..
(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)
Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..
{sound of static}
{pickup idling, radio playing}
[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home
to find his wife in bed with another man.
("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")
("Grady!!")
[Dr. Dre]
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..
[Eminem]
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!
[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy
[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!
[Dr. Dre]
What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)
I'ma kill you motherfucker!
[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
[Dr. Dre]
Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?
Just lose it
Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Now everyone report to the dance floor
To the dance floor, to the dance floor
Now everyone report to the dance floor
Alright stop, pajama time
Come here little kiddies on my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new rap
And I don't mean rap as in a new case
Of child investigates and accusates
Ah ah ah ah ah, no worries
Papa's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to make noise?
I've done touched on everything but little boys
That's not a stab at Michael
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Good god, dip, do a little slide
Bend down, touch your toes, and just glide
To the center of the dance floor
Like TP for my bung hole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot," it's ok
Oops my CD, it just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip
{Refrain:}
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy, shake that ass
Whoops I mean girl, girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Just lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Go crazy (ah ah ah ah ah)
Oh baby (ah ah) oh baby (ah ah)
It's Friday and it's my day
Ysed to party all the way to Sunday
Maybe 'til Monday
I don't know what day
Everyday's just a holiday
Cruisin' on the freeway, feelin' kind of breezy
Let the top down and my hair blow
I don't know where I'm goin'
All I know is when I ger there someone's gonna (touch my body)
Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from work
Would you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair
Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out (yeah)
What's ya name girl, what's ya sign?
(Man you must be up out yo mind)
Dre (ah ah) beer goggles, blind
I'm just tryin' to unwind (now I'm)
{au Refrain}
It's Tuesday and I'm locked up
I'm in jail and I don't know what happened
They say I was runnin' butt naked
Down the street screamin' (ah ah ah ah)
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember
All I know is this much, I'm not guilty
They said "Save it, boy we got you on tape
Screamin' at an old lady" (touch my body)
Now this is the part where the rap breaks down
It's real intense, no one makes a sound
Everything looks like it's "8 Mile" now
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves
Now snap back to reality, look it's B. Rabbit
Oh you signed me up to battle? I'm a grown man
Tubba tubba tubba tubba tubba tubba tubba
I don't have any lines to go right here so tubba
Tellytubby fellas (what) fellas (what)
Grab your left, make your right one jealous (what)
Black girls, white girls, skinny girls, fat girls
Tall girls, small girls, I'm callin' all girls
Everyone report to the dance floor
It's your chance for a little romance or butt squeezin'
It's the season, just go (ah ah ah ah)
It's so appeasin'
{au Refrain}
Marshall mathers
You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everybody wants to come around like I owe em somethin
Heh, the fuck you want from me, ten million dollars?
Get the fuck out of here
Chorus One: Eminem
You see I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy,
I don't know why all the fuss about me (fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before,
all they did was doubt me (did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
and try to take shots at me (take shots at me)
[Eminem]
Yo, you might see me joggin, you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin a dead rottweiler dog
with it's head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
hollerin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin
(grrrr, ARF ARF) Or leanin out a window, with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot 'Pac in
Lookin for Big's killers, dressed in ridiculous
blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cause Biggie and 'Pac just missed all this
Watchin all these cheap imitations get rich off 'em
and get dollars that shoulda been there's like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Crist' poppin and wristwatches
I had to sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
and walk around with an empty bottle of Remi Martin
startin shit like some 26-year-old skinny Cartman ("God damnit!")
I'm anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin
with instincts to kill N'Sync, don't get me started
These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What's this bitch retarded? Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
Whatever happened to whylin out and bein violent?
Whatever happened to catchin a good-ol' fashioned
passionate ass-whoopin and gettin your shoes coat and your hat tooken?
New Kids on the Block, sucked a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait 'til I catch all you faggots in public
I'ma love it.. (hahaha)
Vanilla Ice don't like me (uh-uh)
Said some shit in Vibe to spite me (yup)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (hehe)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
and run around screamin, "I don't care, just bite me" (nah nah)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
and destroy your little 4-year-old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who spray Faygo Root Beer
and call themselves "Clowns" cause they look queer
Faggot2Dope and Silent Gay
Claimin Detroit, when y'all live twenty miles away (fuckin punks)
And I don't wrestle, I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask 'em about the club they was at when they snuck out
after they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
(AHHH!) Ducked down and got paintballs shot at they truck, blaow!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
when you ain't seen a fuckin Mile Road, South of 10
And I don't need help, from D-12, to beat up two females
in make-up, who may try to scratch me with Lee Nails
"Slim Anus," you damn right, Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots!
Chorus Two: Eminem
Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy,
I'll knock you out if you talk about me (you talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets alone
if you assholes doubt me (assholes doubt me)
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best shot at me (your best shot at me)
[Eminem]
Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?
You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top
and this fucked up head that I've got, I've gone pop?
The underground just spunned around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
"Oh, he just did some shit with Missy,
so now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with MC Get-Bizzy"
My fuckin bitch mom's suin for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit?
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress
Which is it bitch, Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers?
It doesn't matter your [attorney Fred Gibson's a] faggot!
Talkin about I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass (Uhh!)
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do?
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin over who wants to invite me to supper
All the sudden, I got 90 some cousins (Hey it's me!)
A half-brother and sister who never seen me
or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to step foot in my girlfriend's house
Hey-hey! And then to top it off, I walked to the newsstand
to buy this cheap-ass little magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page, flipped right fast
and what do I see? A picture of my big white ass
Okay, let me give you motherfuckers some help:
uhh, here - DOUBLE XL, DOUBLE XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Ahh fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself
Remember me
[RBX]
Remember me? ("Step in, execution")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm 'High Powered'")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")
For this one it's the X, you retarded?
Cause I grab the mic and get DOWN, like Syndrome
Hide and roam into the masses, without boundaries
which qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, I leak words that's controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
cause I'll hit yo' ass like the train did that bitch
that got "Banned From TV" -- heavyweight hitter
Hit you watch your whole head split up
Loco-is-the-motion, we comin through
Hollow tips is the lead, the .45 threw
[Sticky Fingaz]
Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam! Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga 'Bacdafucup'")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")
Niggaz that take no for an answer, get told no
Yeah I been told no but it was more like, "No, no, no!!!"
Life a bitch that'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
this vet is ahead of,
The shit is all redder, you deader and deader
A medic instead-a the cheddars and credda
Settle vendetta one metal beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence? NOPE! Never leave a shred-of
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches Total
Want beef, nigga? PBBT! You better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably sayin, "He ain't a killer", but I'm killin myself
Smoke death, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggaz in my hood who'd do that shit for a blunt or two
What you wanna do, cocksuckers? We glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, we'll start ruckus and drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin wires niggaz wantin me dead, wantin my head
You think it could be somethin I said? {*echoes*}
[Eminem]
Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm Shady!")
When I go out, I'ma go out shootin
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin to clear up my fuckin' image,
so I promised the fuckin critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin" for six minutes
(*click* Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Hailie on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin these crazy thoughts
in my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
("Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?")
Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window
and stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
with M-16's and ten clips each
And them shits reach through six kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?
FUCK THAT! PBBT! Tou faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
and re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin at, nigga?)
Don't you remember me?!
Remember me?!!
Remember me??!
REMEMBER ME!!!!
The real slim shady
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?
[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Chorus
[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Chorus 2X
[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
Without me
(Intro - Obie Trice)
"Obie Trice. Real Name No Gimmicks…"
(Intro 1) 2X
Two trailer park girls go round the outside,
Round the outside, round the outside..
(Intro 2)
Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back. Guess who's back…
(Verse 1)
I created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
See Marshall no more they want Shady
I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shady, then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicker
Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the Dr. when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rocking the table while he's operating "Hey"
You waited this long to stop debating
Cuz I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know you got a job Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem is complicated
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me
So come on and dip, bum on your lips
Jump back jiggle a hip and wiggle a bit
And get ready cuz this is about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, "Fuck you, Debbie !!"
(Chorus) 2X
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
Cuz it feels so empty without me..
(Verse 2)
Little hellions kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feeling like prisoners helpless
'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells "BITCH"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution
Pollutin' the air waves a rebel
So let me just revel and bask
In the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
And it's a disaster such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me
Well I'm back (batman sound) fix your bent antennae
Tune it in and then I'm gonna enter
Into the front of your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me..
(Chorus 2X)
(Verse 3)
A tisk-it a task-it,
I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this and that shit
Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards
And Moby, you can get stomped by Obie
You 36 year old bald headed say blow me
You don't know me, you're too old
Let it go its over, nobody listens to techno
Now lets go, just give me the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes man it just seems
Everybody only wants to dis-cuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gusting
But it's just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley
To do Black Music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy
"Hey" there's a concept that works
20 million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It will be so empty without me..
(Chorus 2X)
(Hum dee dai la la Hum dei dei la la…la la la)
(Hum dee dai la la Hum dei dei la la…la la la)
Business
Intro)
Dre: Marshall...sounds like an S.O.S
Eminem: Holy wack, unlyrical lyrics Andre, you're fuckin' right
Dre: To the rapmobile...Let's go
Marshall!
Marshall!
Eminem: Bitches and gentlemen, It's showtime! Hurry hurry, step right up / Introducing the star of our show…his name is...
Marshall!
Eminem: You wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now / So without further ado, I bring to you
Marshall!
Verse 1
You bout to witness hip hop in its most purest, more rawest form, flow almost flawless/most hardest, most honest known artist, chip off the old block, but good old Doc is BACK/Looks like Batman brought his own Robin. Oh god, Sadam's got his own Laden/ wit' his own private plane, his own pilot, set to blow college dorm rooms doors off the hinges/oranges, peach, pears, plums syringes. Vnnnn vnnnn, yeah here I come, I'm inches/ away from you, dear fear none, hip hop is in a state of nine-one-one so...
Chorus X2
Lets get down to business. I don't got no time to play around what is this/Must be a circus in town, lets shut the shit down on these clowns. Can I get a witness? HELL YEAH!
Verse 2
Quick gotta move fast, gotta perform miracles. Gee willikers, Dre, holy bat syllables/look at all the bullshit that goes on in Gotham when I'm gone. Time to get rid of these rap criminals/So skip to your lou while I do what I do best. You ain't even impressed no more, you're used to it/Flows too wet, nobody close to it, nobody says it, but still everybody knows the shit/ the most hated on out of all those who say they get hated on in eighty songs and exaggerate it all/ So much, they make it all up, there's no such thing, like a female with good looks , who cooks and cleans/it just means so much more to so much more people when you're rappin' and you know what for/the show must go on. So I'd like to welcome y'all to Marshall and Andre's carnival, C'mon! Now...
Chorus X2
Verse 3
Its just like old times, the dynamic duo, two old friends, why panic, you already know who's fully capable, the two capped heroes, dial straight down the center eight-zero-zero/you can even call collect, the most feared duet, since me and Elton played career Russian Roulette/and never even see me blink or get to bustin' a sweat, people steppin' over people just to rush to the set/just to get to see an MC who breathes so freely, ease over these beats and be so breezy/Jesus how can shit be so easy, how can one Chandra be so Levy?/ Turn on these beats, MC's don't see me. Believe me BET and MTV are gonna grieve/when we leave, dog, fo' sheezy. Can't leave rap alone, the game needs me/ Till we grow beards, get weird, and disappear into the mountains. Nothin' but clowns down here/but we ain't fuckin around round here, yo Dre. . . What up? Can I get a Hell? Hell Yeah!/ Now...
Chorus X2
Refrain X2
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Marshall! / Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Marshall!
Outro
So there you have it folks, Marshall has come to save the day/Back with his friend Andre, and to remind you that bullshit does not pay/ Because Marshall! And Andre are here to stay and never go away until our dying day until we're old and grey/ Marshall! So until next time friends, same blonde hair, same rap channel, Good night everyone, Thank you for coming/Your host for the evening. . . Marshall! Oh...
Cleaning out my toilets
Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against.
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes. Look at the times. Sick is the mind of the motha fuckin' kid that's behind
all this commotion. Emotions run deep as ocean's explodin.' Tempers flaring from parents, just blow 'em off and keep goin.'
Not takin' nothin' from no one, give 'em hell long as I'm breathin.' Keep kickin' ass in the mornin,' an' takin' names in the evening.
Leavem with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth. See, they can trigger me but they never figure me out.
Look at me now, I bet ya probably sick of me now. Ain't you mama, I'ma make you look so ridiculous now.
{Refrain: x2}
I'm sorry, Mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet.
I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it. So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it,
I'ma expose it. I'll take you back to 73 before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin' CD.
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months. My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch,
cuz he split. I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye. No, I don't on second thought, I just fuckin' wished he would die.
I look at Hailie and I couldn't picture leavin' her side. Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake. I maybe made some mistakes but I'm only human. But I'm man enough to face them today.
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb, but the smartest shit I did was take them bullets out of that gun.
Cuz id'a killed 'em, shit I would have shot Kim an' him both. It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to The Eminem Show.
{au Refrain, x2}
Now I would never dis my own mama just to get recognition. Take a second to listen for you think this record is dissin,'
But put yourself in my position. Just try to envision witnessin' your Mama poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen,
bitchin' that someone's always goin' throuh her purse and shits missin.' Going through public housing systems, victim of Munchausen's syndrome. My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't 'til I grew up, now I blew up. It makes you sick to ya stomach,
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me, Ma? So you could try to justify the way you treated me, Ma?
But guess what, yer gettin' older now and it's cold when your lonely. An' Nathan's getting' up so quick, he's gonna know that your phoney.
And Hailie's getting' so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful. But you'll never see her, she won't even be at your funeral.
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong. Bitch, do ya song. Keep tellin' yourself that you was a mom.
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get. You selfish bitch, I hope you fuckin' burn in hell for this shit.
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me? Well, guess what, I am dead. Dead to you as can be.
{au Refrain, x4}